Most people first learn about sex from movies, friends, school lessons, or casual conversations while growing up. The problem is that sex and sex education are often treated as something “bad” or embarrassing to talk about. Because of this, many of us don’t get proper information, and what we know ends up being a mix of truth and myths.
Believing these myths can be risky. It may lead to unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), unhealthy relationships, or stress and anxiety about sex. Reliable sex education is important because it helps people understand their bodies, make safe choices, and have healthier relationships.
That’s why, in this article, we’ve tried to clear up some of the most common myths and misunderstandings about sex. Knowing the facts can make things easier, safer, and more enjoyable. Of course, there are many more misconceptions, but these key points can help you separate facts from false beliefs.
Many men feel anxious about their penis size, but the idea that “bigger is better” is a common myth. Research shows that only 55% of straight men and 62% of gay and bisexual men feel confident about their size. Men often believe that larger penises make sex more pleasurable, but studies show most women do not consider size the most important factor—85% of straight women report being satisfied with their partner’s size. Pleasure depends more on connection, technique, and communication than on length or girth.
If penis size causes anxiety, talking openly with your partner can help. A supportive partner will understand and reassure you. Intimacy is not only about penetration—exploring other ways to enjoy sex, like oral sex or using your hands, can enhance pleasure and connection. Your brain is actually the most powerful sex organ, and imagination and emotional closeness play a huge role in sexual satisfaction.
For many women, reaching orgasm is less about penis size and more about the quality of the experience. Men with smaller penises may naturally try different positions, focus on foreplay, and pay closer attention to their partner’s pleasure. This extra effort can make them very attentive and skilled lovers. Similarly, women with smaller vaginas may find larger penises uncomfortable or even painful, so a smaller penis can make sex more enjoyable and less intimidating.
It’s important to stop shaming or mocking men about size, as it can damage confidence and self-esteem. Couples should focus on communication, experimenting with positions, and exploring sexual techniques—including ideas from sources like the Kama Sutra—to make sex pleasurable for both partners. The truth is, size is far less important than intimacy, care, and creativity in a sexual relationship.
Many people believe the myth that sex toys are “better” than a partner. This can create feelings of insecurity, like, “Am I not enough?” or “Are toys better than me?” But that’s not true. Sex toys are not replacements—they are tools to enhance pleasure and bring variety into your intimate life. Your partner loves you for who you are, and using toys doesn’t make you less important or less satisfying. Instead, it usually shows your partner wants to explore new experiences with you and strengthen the relationship.
Sex toys should be seen as tools for pleasure, not threats to a relationship. As Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and relationship therapist explains to The Guardian, “They offer something different to partnered sex. The two are not mutually exclusive.” Toys can introduce new sensations, add variety and playfulness, strengthen emotional connection, and even assist in overcoming sexual challenges. When couples approach them with trust and openness, they often find that toys bring them closer instead of driving them apart.
For beginners, Moyle suggests starting simple: “If you’re new to sex toys, choose a simple vibrator, and trail it all over the body—not just focusing on the parts associated with sex. This can help build anticipation, desire, and arousal.” Exploring slowly, with curiosity and comfort, makes the experience safe, exciting, and deeply enjoyable.
A common myth among heterosexual men is that anal sex is only associated with gay men. This stereotype comes from poor sex education and media portrayals of gay male sexuality. Such beliefs not only spread misinformation but also reinforce stigma and homophobia.
The truth is, anal sex is not limited to any gender or sexuality—it can be enjoyed by anyone. Many straight men find it pleasurable because of the prostate, a gland located between the penis and rectum that produces intense sensations when stimulated. As Neves explains, “Numerous heterosexual men enjoy receiving anal sex. It stimulates the prostate, which can be very pleasurable.”
Despite this, curiosity about anal sex often comes with shame. Some men avoid talking about it or seeking proper information because they fear judgment. But being curious about your body and pleasure doesn’t make you “less straight” or “less masculine.” It simply helps you understand your body better.
Exploring different types of pleasure doesn’t change your sexuality—it expands your understanding of intimacy. With the right knowledge, openness, and safety, anal sex can become another way to enjoy closeness with your partner without shame or stigma.
A common myth about sex is that the body is like a lie detector, instantly revealing attraction or arousal. Many people believe that visible signs—like an erection in men or wetness in women—automatically indicate desire. This idea is misleading. Bodies are not machines, and arousal is influenced by many factors, including stress, medications, hormones, past trauma, or pressure to perform. Just because someone’s body doesn’t respond in a certain way doesn’t mean they aren’t interested or attracted.
As psychosexual and relationship therapist James Earl explains to The Guardian, the mind and body don’t always align. “Men sometimes get an erection without being turned on, just like women may lubricate without feeling desire. The reverse is also true: you can feel aroused without the physical manifestation,” he says. This highlights that sexual response is complex, and physical signs alone don’t always tell the whole story.
It’s important not to interpret the absence of visible arousal as personal rejection. A partner may simply need more time, comfort, or stimulation to feel connected. Slow things down, communicate openly, and focus on mutual pleasure rather than rigid expectations about what “should” happen.
By understanding that sexual response varies from person to person, couples can reduce anxiety and create a safer, more enjoyable sexual experience. Paying attention to emotional and physical cues, experimenting with different ways to connect, and emphasizing communication can help debunk this myth and improve intimacy.
When most people are asked to define sex, they often think only of penetration. Anything outside of that—like oral sex or touching—is dismissed as mere “foreplay.” This narrow view is particularly common among heterosexual individuals, where penetrative sex is often seen as the “real” act while everything else is treated as secondary.
However, many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people tend to have a much broader and more inclusive definition of sex. For them, intimacy doesn’t revolve solely around penetration—it can include many different activities that are just as valid and pleasurable. Historically, sex education has focused heavily on reproduction, which explains why penetration has been placed at the center of what society labels as sex. But in reality, reproduction is only one of many reasons people have sex.
Sticking to the idea that penetration is the “right” or “proper” form of sex can actually limit your experiences. If you believe that only one type of sex matters, you may end up missing out on other forms of intimacy that bring just as much—if not more—pleasure. Sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all activity; it’s about connection, creativity, and enjoyment.
If you feel like you’re stuck in a “penetration routine,” it may help to experiment and rethink what sex means to you. Small changes—like adjusting the lighting, keeping clothes on longer, switching positions, or even deciding not to have penetrative sex at all—can make intimacy feel fresh and exciting. Introducing novelty can spark curiosity, deepen intimacy, and bring back the thrill in your sex life.
People often debate about the effect porn has on our sex lives, and even whether it can be considered truly “addictive.” While some individuals watch porn compulsively, experts point out that the issue is not always the porn itself. In many cases, people turn to it as a way of coping with deeper emotional struggles, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Porn then becomes a form of temporary comfort rather than the root problem.
Therapists caution, however, that when porn use becomes excessive, it can harm relationships. Partners may feel betrayed or insecure, which can lead to arguments, emotional distance, or even a breakdown in intimacy. Feelings of shame, secrecy, and confusion often make the problem worse, turning it into both a personal and relational challenge.
It’s also important to understand that porn is not one single thing. There are many types—some of which can be harmful, promoting unrealistic or misogynistic ideas about sex. On the other hand, there are also ethical forms of porn that focus on consent, respect, and more balanced portrayals of intimacy. What matters most is being mindful about what you consume and whether it aligns with your values.
If you’re someone who enjoys watching porn, honesty is key. Hiding it from your partner can create unnecessary misunderstandings. Instead, it’s healthier to choose a partner who shares—or at least respects—your views on the subject. Having open conversations about boundaries and preferences can strengthen trust and reduce shame. The goal should not be to let porn replace real intimacy, but to ensure it’s enjoyed in a way that supports, rather than harms, your relationship.
A prevalent misconception is that only men experience sexual performance anxiety. However, this condition can affect individuals of all genders, though it may manifest differently. Research indicates that up to 25% of men and 16% of women experience performance anxiety. In men, this often presents as difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection, or premature ejaculation. For individuals with vulvas, it may manifest as reduced lubrication, pelvic floor tightness, decreased pleasure, or inhibited orgasm.
Performance anxiety isn’t only about physical response—it’s also about the pressure of expectations. Many men feel stressed about “succeeding” in sex, worried they might disappoint their partner or fail to meet societal standards of masculinity. These fears can make sexual experiences less enjoyable and even reinforce the anxiety itself, creating a cycle that can be hard to break.
Communication plays a key role in managing sexual anxiety. If you have a regular partner, openly discussing your concerns can reduce pressure and build trust. Explaining what helps you feel comfortable or suggesting alternative ways to connect can make sexual experiences more pleasurable and less stressful. Ignoring or pretending the anxiety isn’t there often worsens it, while pausing activities that trigger stress allows you to focus on what feels good.
Understanding that sexual anxiety is common and not a sign of failure is important. Many men experience it at some point, and it can be managed with patience, self-awareness, and supportive communication. Focusing on mutual pleasure, experimentation, and emotional connection can help break the myth that men must always perform perfectly and that anxiety is a personal flaw.
One of the oldest myths about sex is that pulling out before ejaculation can completely prevent pregnancy. This is not true. Even before a man ejaculates, a small amount of fluid called pre-cum can be released, and it may contain sperm. At the same time, vaginal fluids are also present during arousal. While these fluids can also spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs), the real issue is that sperm from pre-cum can still cause pregnancy.
The pull-out method, also called the withdrawal method, involves a man removing his penis from the vagina before ejaculation. In theory, this can reduce the chances of pregnancy, but it is far from reliable. When done perfectly every single time, it still has a failure rate of around 4%. To compare, condoms have a failure rate of only about 2%. However, because people rarely perform the method perfectly, the actual failure rate with “typical use” jumps to 20–30%. That means many couples relying only on withdrawal end up facing unplanned pregnancies.
The biggest flaw in this method is human error. Timing has to be precise, and even a slight delay or a small amount of semen near the vagina can allow sperm to fertilize an egg. Because of this, withdrawal should never be used as the sole method of contraception if you truly want to avoid pregnancy.
If someone still chooses to use the pull-out method, it’s much safer to combine it with another form of birth control, such as condoms or the birth control pill. This dual protection reduces the risk of pregnancy and also provides protection against STIs. In short, withdrawal alone is risky, unreliable, and outdated compared to modern contraceptives that are far more effective and safe. [Rh/VP]
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